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Sandler Selling
Reverse Selling. Pattern Interrupts. Be Okay With "No."
Based on David Sandler's reverse psychology approach. Don't chase. Don't push. Let prospects convince themselves by being genuinely okay with losing the deal.
"The Sandler Submarine: You can't skip steps. You can't go backward. And you can't come up for air until you've qualified or disqualified."
— David Sandler
Core Sandler Techniques
| Technique | What It Does | Example |
|---|---|---|
| Negative Reverse | Suggest the opposite of what you want to reduce resistance | "I'm not sure we can help..." |
| Strip Lining | Pull back when they push back—makes them chase | "Maybe this isn't for you..." |
| Upfront Contract | Set expectations at the start, including "no" as an outcome | "At the end of this, it's okay to say no..." |
| Pain Funnel | Dig into the pain with progressively deeper questions | "Tell me more... How long? What does that cost you?" |
The Philosophy
Sandler flips traditional sales dynamics. Instead of chasing, you pull back. Instead of convincing, you let them convince themselves. Instead of fearing "no," you make it an acceptable outcome. This creates psychological safety that paradoxically makes "yes" more likely.
The core insight: people hate being sold to, but they love to buy. When you remove the pressure, when you're genuinely okay walking away, prospects stop resisting and start engaging authentically. The best Sandler practitioners often seem like they don't need the sale—and that's exactly why they get it.
Key Characteristics
- →Be okay with "no." When rejection is acceptable, pressure disappears.
- →Negative reverse selling. Suggest the opposite to lower defenses.
- →Pattern interrupt. Don't sound like every other salesperson.
- →Upfront contracts. Set expectations, including that "no" is fine.
- →Qualify ruthlessly. "No selling, just sorting." Find fits, release non-fits.
When to Use
Best For
- • Skeptical buyers who've been burned by salespeople
- • High-volume outreach where quick qualification matters
- • Consultative sales needing trust upfront
- • Prospects who resist traditional sales approaches
Avoid When
- • Buyers expect confidence and conviction (visionary founders)
- • RFP processes with formal evaluation criteria
- • Situations requiring bold claims and proof points
- • Short transactional sales with clear needs
The Prompts
Cold Email
Write a cold email using Sandler Selling principles. Context: - Prospect: [NAME], [TITLE] at [COMPANY] - Signal: [What triggered this outreach - funding, hire, product launch, etc.] - My product: [What you sell] - Problem I solve: [Core issue my product addresses] Sandler Email Approach: - Use a pattern interrupt—don't sound like every other sales email. - Be okay with "no." Make it easy for them to decline (reduces resistance). - Use negative reverse: "I'm not sure if this applies to you, but..." - Don't oversell. Undersell if anything. Create curiosity, not pressure. - Ask for permission rather than assuming interest. - Keep it human—casual tone, no corporate speak. - Let them feel in control of the conversation. - Under 80 words. Low pressure, high curiosity. Tone: Relaxed, slightly self-deprecating, genuinely okay with hearing "no."
Discovery Call Questions
Generate Sandler-style discovery questions. Context: - Prospect company: [COMPANY] - Their industry: [INDUSTRY] - Their likely problem: [PROBLEM AREA] - My solution: [WHAT YOU OFFER] Sandler Discovery Approach: PAIN QUESTIONS (uncover the real problem) - What's not working? - How long has this been an issue? - What have you tried? Why didn't it work? - What's this costing you? BUDGET QUESTIONS (qualify early) - Have you set aside resources to solve this? - What would it be worth to fix? - What happens if it doesn't fit your budget? DECISION QUESTIONS (understand the process) - Besides yourself, who else is involved? - What's your timeline? - What happens if you decide to do nothing? NEGATIVE REVERSE QUESTIONS (let them convince themselves) - "I'm not sure we can help, but tell me more about..." - "Most companies don't actually fix this—why are you different?" - "What makes you think now is the right time?" Sandler's mantra: "No selling, just sorting." Qualify or disqualify quickly.
Objection Handling
Handle this objection using Sandler techniques. The objection: [PASTE OBJECTION HERE] Context: - My product: [WHAT YOU SELL] - Why we're better: [KEY DIFFERENTIATOR] Sandler Objection Handling Framework: - Don't fight the objection. Agree with it, then explore. - Use negative reverse: "You're probably right. Most people don't..." - Let them talk themselves out of the objection (or into it). - If the objection is real, acknowledge it and move on. Don't push. - Strip lining: pull back your enthusiasm. "Maybe this isn't for you." - Be okay losing the deal. That's what makes you credible. Generate: 1. An agreement/acknowledgment (not defensive) 2. A negative reverse question 3. A strip line (pulling back) 4. A re-engagement if they push back on the pull-back
LinkedIn Message
Write a LinkedIn message using Sandler principles. Context: - Recipient: [NAME], [TITLE] - Connection point: [How you're connected or what triggered this] - What I want: [Meeting, intro, feedback, etc.] Sandler LinkedIn Approach: - Pattern interrupt: Don't open like everyone else. - Be upfront about your intent (but low-pressure about it). - Use negative reverse: "Not sure if this is relevant to you..." - Make saying "no" easy—it removes resistance. - Casual, human tone. No corporate speak. - Under 50 words. Be the anti-sales message. Tone: Casual, honest about intent, genuinely okay with rejection.
Upfront Contract Builder
Create a Sandler-style upfront contract for this meeting. Context: - Meeting purpose: [WHAT THIS CALL IS FOR] - What I want to learn: [YOUR DISCOVERY GOALS] - What they might want: [THEIR LIKELY GOALS] - Possible outcomes: [YES / NO / NEXT STEP] Sandler Upfront Contract Components: 1. Purpose: Why are we meeting? 2. Time: How long do we have? 3. Agenda: What will we cover? 4. Outcome: What are the possible endings? Generate a conversational upfront contract that: - Sets clear expectations for both sides - Makes "no" an acceptable outcome - Establishes mutual respect for time - Removes pressure by naming what might happen Example opening: "Before we dive in, let me make sure we're on the same page about what happens today..."
Example Output
Subject: Probably not for you Sarah, Quick question—and feel free to say no if this doesn't fit. I noticed you've grown the sales team 3x this year. That usually creates a problem most companies don't talk about: the playbook that worked at 5 reps breaks at 15. I'm not sure if that's happening to you. If it is, might be worth a quick conversation. If not, no worries—I'll leave you alone. Either way, curious to hear. — Marcus